Imagine with me two armies coming together over a valley rich in resources. The pasture is fertile, plenty of grass for both armies, there are orchards of apple trees, the water is pure and sparkling. There is room for both multitudes of people and horses, yet the commanders have grudges and preconceptions. Peace talks are tried, but they fail miserably. Horses are mounted, swords are drawn, and the battle is about to begin.

No, I’m not talking about a new fantasy novel that I’m writing (though, that might be a good introduction). I’m talking about dealing with your spouse about money. When a couple gets married, they both have preconceptions and ways of dealing with money. One may be a spender, one a saver. Getting rid of debt might be the goal of one, yet the other doesn’t care if they spend money they don’t have.

How To Deal With Finances In Marriage: What You Need To Know!

Here are several things that have helped Brianna and I with our discussions about money. They can help you too!

1. Get on the Same Page

This means you need to figure out your differences and make a solid commitment to change the way you deal with finances in marriage. First and foremost is to remember this money, regardless of who makes it, is both of yours. Start using the word “Our.” It’s our debt, our income, our cars, our student loan, our future. Second, make some compromises: If you’re a spender, this means you agree to have a limit. If you’re a saver, this means you actually loosen up and spend some money. Realize that you need to include your spouse in most financial decisions.

Brianna and I both had debt when we entered marriage. We made the decision to proactively change the way we referred to the money. We have a joint checking account and have made sure we remember that everything is ours.

2. Dream Together

The future is wide open. If a couple will talk about what they want to do, in regard to finances, this will align their hearts together and go a long way to unifying their views of money. Talk about why you’re paying off debt, the giving you want to do, the house that you want to buy. Talk about starting a business. Be open about your dreams and listen to your spouse’s dreams too.

This was one of the first things Brianna and I talked about. It was one of the topics we used to get to know each other during our courting period. We have dreams of giving, dreams of owning our own house, of ministry and doing things together. We also have a dream of celebrating when we get debt free and have the money to save: We want to go on an Alaskan Cruise. Yep, It’s a big dream, but it’s what we hold out to motivate us.

3. Take Action Together

This is the hard part. This is the commitment to sitting down and making a budget (or a cash flow plan if you prefer to call it that). The nuts and bolts of dealing with your money. Find out who is more inclined to crunch numbers (Dave Ramsey calls this person a nerd. I prefer the term organized. Grins). That person takes the responsibility to sit down every month and make that spreadsheet where every dollar has a name.

Then you have a meeting. This is where you have to make sure you communicate well. Each spouse has a voice and can give their opinion. Once you make your decisions on where the money goes, each spouse has to stick to it. The envelope system really helps in curbing spending; something about parting with cash hurts.

Brianna and I have figured out a good system for our budgeting. Since I’m the more detailed person (at least in this regard) I’m the one who makes the spreadsheet. On the last day of the month, I have every dollar assigned from that month’s income.

Then we sit down and talk about what the budget looks like. Sometimes I have to move some money around, because I didn’t know we were getting low on toilet paper or detergent. That’s why we talk about it. Since we’ve been doing this for almost 6 months, most of the amounts and categories stay the same, but occasionally we’ll add or remove a category. The goal is to be flexible while we talk about the budget. Then we stick to it through the whole month.

4. Pray Together

Remember, you’re dealing with God’s money, not yours. If you both take the time to set aside the worry about money, remember that He has your back and cares deeply for you, then that allows for a huge weight to be taken off.

Also, pray about the little things. Brianna will regularly ask for sales and cheap prices for the items on her grocery list – and God answers! There’s many a time she’ll come home and tell me that she found everything on sale and spent way less than she estimated.

Being married is a good thing and as a married couple our financial journey can be exciting and joyful. Enter into marriage as a team and not as opposing armies. Imagine the valley you will have to enjoy . . . together.

How do you talk about money with your spouse? What preconceptions have hindered your communication? Leave a comment below, won’t you?

JC Reagan

JC is a writer over at God, My Weird Spouse, and I, where he writes about life, marriage, and God’s place in all of it. He believes that being weird is a good thing in this world of mediocrity. He and his wife want to stick out for strong marriages and the priority of God, as well as a Biblical worldview.

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My husband and I seem to be recovering financially from Christmas. We were more than reimbursed by the wonderful gifts from our family and friends in the form of clothing, movies, etc. But our bank account remains a little parched.

It’s a little difficult to remember to put gifts as a category into the budget. Families are constantly growing so the number of birthdays increases as does the gifting budget. Buying gifts is a beautiful thing and it really shouldn’t be a financial burden. So how do you make it so?

Well, gift giving seems to be an increasingly difficult art to perfect. Everyone has access to almost everything now. Not only is it difficult to buy a nice gift and stay within budget, but it’s difficult to buy gifts that will be liked. Keep fighting for that look of delight on your loved one’s face by giving to them! Here are some smarter giving tips that will help you stay within budget while getting something they are sure to love.

3 Smarter Giving Tips

1. Listen.

If you’re around the person you’re buying for a lot then listen for tips as to what he or she has been wanting. Sure, you won’t really surprise them, but a gift they genuinely want and will use will be appreciated.

If what he or she is wanting is way out of budget, don’t sweat it! Look for a cheaper alternative or follow the other tips. An inexpensive one-of-a-kind gift is the kind of gift everyone wants to give, right?

2. Make it.

I’m not talking about finger painting a turkey. I’m talking about putting a personal touch on your gift; magnify your skills. Can you sew? Make the birthday girl a purse, wallet, or headband. Are you good at graphic design? Design an edgy print for the birthday guy to hang on the wall. They will think of you every time they look at it because it has your stamp on it.

3. Search the web.

But please, not Amazon or eBay! Check out sites like Modcloth and Etsy for homemade items of all categories. These two sites are the perfect places to look for that person that seems to have everything.

There are price range icons according to your budget and shipping costs are very reasonable. The sellers at these sites are talented people so don’t feel bad if you’re not crafty yourself! There’s a plethora of vintage-style jewelry and homemade fashion at your fingertips! And for guys? How about some custom made cell phone cases or cool tees?

Oh, by the way, don’t forget to save your gift bags and tissue paper! It’ll save you money and a trip to the store!

Should I Really Give?

If it’s an especially tight month and you just don’t think you can afford a birthday gift for someone, that’s a difficult situation. I strongly believe, however, that you should find a way to buy one anyway.

The Bible mentions the word “give” more than 1,400 times. Remember the widow who gave away her last copper coins in Matthew 12 and Luke 21? We should be willing to give past our own means. Our willingness to give to others demonstrates our love for Christ. There are so many things we can learn about giving.

How do you choose to give? Meet us in the comments and let us know how you budget for gifts – and let us in on your giving tips!

Holly Jenkins

I'm a 21-year-old recently graduated newlywed finding my place in the real world. Writing has been my only consistent passion throughout my life and my dream is to make of a career of it. I also love reading, watching movies, spending time with my husband and family, playing sports and playing board games. For now I'm enjoying the path God has me on and can't wait to see what His future holds for me.

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My father taught me how to prune trees. You find where you want to cut and you look for that fork in the branch. That is where you cut. No hack and slash, no indiscriminate chainsaw running here (even though that sounds like a lot of fun). To prune correctly you had to take the time and envision where you wanted the tree to grow.

Budgets are a lot like that. Think of all the categories as main branches and your income as the trunk. Each dollar grows off those branches and can be very useful producing a variety of different fruit. Sometimes though, a branch can start growing the wrong way and needs to be pruned and grafted onto a different main branch.

Recently my wife and I found several branches that needed pruning:

Branch # 1 – The cell phone plan

We love our cell phones! We love our social networking too (or at least I do). Problem is we were spending too much time checking our phones for the latest status update. For me it was becoming a very bad habit. When our internet at home went up after the promotion we were on expired, we knew we had to change some things around.

Our cell company, Koodo, here in Canada offers unique ways to change our details around, without getting into a longer contract. We analyzed our habits and decided that we needed to get a lower amount of minutes for both of us, with unlimited incoming calls, and unlimited texting. The data plans were cut because they weren’t necessary. We have WiFi in the house and in the majority of places we go; thus able to connect if we have to.

The result? We went from around 120 dollars a month to around 80 dollars a month. That is a savings of 40 dollars! Exactly what needed to be transplanted to the internet bill.

Branch # 2 – Car Insurance

I started thinking about the car I have and realized that it is decreasing in value. The deductible on the collision insurance I would pay would be just about the value of the car. I also could do without the car if I absolutely had to get rid of it (ie. Got in an accident that totaled the car). I made a call and took collision off.

Now I must caution you: This step is only if you are willing to pay for collision damage out of your own pocket, or if you don’t mind that you have a bumper missing, or something like that. It also depends on how good of a driver you are too.

Being the owner of this car means that I was willing to take the risk and save 30 dollars a month on car insurance.

Branch # 3 – Groceries

This branch is one that you have to look long and hard at. What kind of food do you buy? How much of it is junk food? What are items that can stretch longer during the month? How do you eat right on a small budget?

My wife has discovered the answer to a few of these questions for our little family. She sits down with her recipes and makes a monthly menu. Her first step is to take inventory of what we have on hand and try to incorporate that into the menu. Then she goes through her recipes and makes a menu that she breaks down into ingredients. Those ingredients are made into a shopping list. The initial shopping list for the month is a long one for most of the staples needed for most of the recipes. After the first list is made, she makes a weekly list for fruit, veggies and milk.

Our monthly menu looks similar to this menu.

I am very proud of my wife and the work she takes to trim the groceries branch. Last month she managed to trim 20 bucks off. We rolled that over into the next month so that we could buy an extra case of chicken and I imagine that we’ll keep rolling over the extra amounts for more of the on hand staples. However, I do foresee a month where we don’t have to buy a large amount of food and that’s where the savings will show up and be applied to another category.

Last Thoughts . . .

Cutting expenses is hard, but worth it. When the day comes and we are debt free, some of these categories will be funded to the max and we will have some wiggle room. Right now, though, we are intense on getting out of bondage and into financial freedom!

If you have recently pruned some categories, please share with us in the comments.  We all can use suggestions!

JC Reagan

JC is a writer over at God, My Weird Spouse, and I, where he writes about life, marriage, and God’s place in all of it. He believes that being weird is a good thing in this world of mediocrity. He and his wife want to stick out for strong marriages and the priority of God, as well as a Biblical worldview.

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We’ve all heard the expression, “If I only knew then what I know now.”

I remember it like it was yesterday. Well , I’m only 25 so it practically was yesterday. I was 18 years old with a credit card pre-approval from Capital One in my hand, having bought into the myth that I needed to get a credit card in order to establish and build credit. So I called and accepted it. As I heard the thick Indian accent on the other end of the phone tell me that my new card’s credit limit was $208 (what a weird figure) I thought “good, it’s low. I’ll be able to use it and then pay it off.”

Raising the Debt Limit

Well, sure. But my limit didn’t stay at $208. After having the card a short time, they raised it to $1,000. Then to $1,500. Before I knew it, I had a credit limit of $3,000. To be honest, I was pretty flattered! Again I thought “cool. I could never actually use that much, but it must mean I’m taking good care of the account!”

Oh, little child. How quickly you can run up $3,000 in credit! And how difficult it is to pay off when you work part-time for minimum wage at CVS/pharmacy when you’re 19.

Soon after I started working for the Credit Union I work at now, I decided to do a balance transfer to our credit card because the interest rate was WAY lower (and still is). I could get it paid off sooner because most of my Capital One payments were going toward to 18% interest and I felt like I was taking one step forward and 12 steps back every month. I advise you to do that if you can, because it really does work when most cards are charging you 17%-25%.

I was jazzed to see my payment drop about $50 per month, meaning I could keep paying my regular payment and knock that baby out! Right? Well, yes, if I had closed that Capital One account when it was paid off. But, naively, I left it open. The reasoning behind this was that I didn’t want to close an established trade line and hurt my credit . . . which is true, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Here’s a bit of truth: limited credit will hurt your score and your chances of being extended credit in the future. Capacity is one of the C’s of credit, and it plays a big part in your credit score. It shows lenders the credit you have available to you and how you’re managing it. A bunch of maxed out credit cards or limited/new credit hurts you. However, if you’re a follower of teachings such as Dave Ramsey’s, then your goal is to never need credit again anyway!

The Emergency Credit Card

So, long story short, I ended up charging back up my original account with “emergencies” and then had more than twice the debt I started with.

Oops.

I am now paying off debt from two credit cards. Now, if I told you how much I have to pay off I’m sure that many of you would laugh because it’s merely a drop in the bucket compared to the tens of thousands you may have. And in a way I’m very blessed because that’s the only real debt I have. My car is paid for, and I don’t have a mortgage at this point. But it’s still a very discouraging place to be.

Changing Positions

See, my problem is that I have a bad habit of telling myself “oh, it’s only $20” and charging it on my card. But let’s do the math here: if I do that five times, then it’s $100. If I do it ten times, it’s $200. You math majors get the picture. Pretty soon it’s in the thousands. So, I made a bold move: I took Baby Step #2 a few months ago and cut up my credit cards!

And I went to town on those things; I didn’t just cut, I annihilated! I was fueled by sheer desire to be rid of them, and it was a blast! Then I sat there, looking at the pile of tiny plastic bits I had just created, and thought “what the heck did I just do?!” Even though I had money in savings, it still scared me! But guess what: it has forced me to only buy what I can afford, which led me to the realization that if I make some budget cuts, I can afford stuff! Who knew! And let me tell you, when I had to get my car fixed and was able to pay out of pocket I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment for not having to charge it. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt to dip into the emergency fund but that’s what it’s there for and I was grateful for it.

A lot of our writings here are tips and how-to articles, but I felt the need to just share some encouragement today. If you’ve never gotten in over your head with credit cards, then good for you! But you are rare, my friend. If you’re reading this with a looming number over your head that you feel you’ll never be free of, you’re not alone. It takes time and dedicated persistence, which is not always fun, but you can be free of it. You don’t have to resign to a lifetime of debt.

One of my favorite quotes is from Dave Ramsey, and I’m encouraged by it frequently when I feel like throwing in the towel:

Children do what feels good. Adults devise a plan and follow it.

Sit down, make a plan, and follow it. There are much better things to spend money on than high interest rates, so I hope you will join me in the journey of destroying debt. We can do it! I’ll keep you updated, and I would love to hear your story, too.

Editor’s Note: If you’re keeping your credit cards because of the perks, try PerkStreet Financial instead. You’ll get cash back for using your debit card!

Meet us in the comments! Tell us your story about credit cards . . . are you trying to pay them off or do you think they’re a good thing to have? We’d love to hear your thoughts below!

Image by Andres Rueda

Bethany Hartman

Bethany Hartman is 25-years-old and works in the Credit Union industry in Houston, TX. She also serves many roles in her church, including church secretary and children's teacher, and advocates for children in poverty through Compassion International.

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Hi guys! Let me introduce myself: My name is JC. My wife Brianna and I are a lot like a majority of young couples. We have thousands of dollars in credit card, car loan, and student loan debt.

We are recently married and that means that we are now unified, not just in spirit and body, but in all things – including our debt! Not only do we have debt, but we also have the added challenge of my moving to Canada and not being allowed to work until I have certain papers in my hand. This having only one income has made things tight.

This can seem depressing to some, but we knew that God brought us together and that His will and His promises will win out. He says in Proverbs 22:7b that “…the borrower is the slave of the lender.” This is a core verse for us.

We have no desire to put our lives under the control of the lender anymore. The money that God has given us to be stewards of is not MasterCard, or Visa, or Sallie Mae . . . . No, this money is to be used to glorify God and to help others.

Our Dreams

That said, let me introduce you to our dreams:

1. Giving a vehicle to someone in need.

Both Brianna and I have had dreams of walking up to someone who has an obvious need for transportation and at God’s prompting, give them the keys to a vehicle.

2. Random gifts of cash.

We want to be open to the Holy Spirit and be able to give generously in whatever amount we think He is leading us in. (We are doing this now and will continue to do it). This includes big or small gifts.

It says in 2 Corinthians 9:8, “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.”

We want to be living a blessed life so that there can be no limits to what God can use us for financially; a financial abundance for every good work. We want to be ready, so that if He says “Give $10” or “Give $100” or “Give $500” and on up, we can do it.

3. Buy a house with a very large down payment (if not 100% down).

This will be a place for us to raise kids, have Bible Studies, and generally be a gathering place for others to be blessed at. We often spend time together talking about our dream home and what our ideas are for it. It really gives us a sense of purpose and drive.

4. Be free to go whenever and wherever God wants us and to be able to do whatever He wants us to.

We want to be free of the pressure and bondage of debt so that when God says it’s time to step out into our ministry in a really big way, there is nothing financial holding us back. If we have no debt and lots of savings in the bank, we are virtually able to do anything and go anywhere.

Those are just a few of our dreams that motivate us and give us momentum. Now you may ask how practical they are, especially in our situation.

We know that we are in a season right now and that God’s grace and love pulls us through. There are some action steps that we have been led into.

Our Action Steps

1. Pray!

There is immense value in praying about your finances. Pray for wisdom in how you steward your money. It only makes sense to handle your money as God would want you to. Also pray for His provision. We have been leaning on God throughout this whole process and we are constantly seeing His provision come through.

2. Make a budget!

We are making a budget every month off of the previous month’s income. This allows a buffer, and an exact amount to break into categories.

3. Beginning Dave’s Baby Steps!

We have started Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps and are still working on the $1000 Emergency Fund.

This will allow us to deal with small emergencies (like a car radiator exploding or small things like that). We’ve sold pretty much everything we can, so now it’s just getting fed from the little amounts we have extra each month.

4. Debt snowball time!

The debt snowball will start once I’m able to work. We are going to put the majority of my income into bashing the smallest account and on downwards.

5. Continue to tithe.

The most important thing that we are doing on this journey is to continue to give God the tithe. Every month, that 10% is the first check we write. After all, this is all for Him!

There you have it! A few of the dreams and the actions that are making the Reagan house tick!

My challenge to you is to dream big, set goals, and get intense!

What about you? Do you have dreams that are stopped by having payments? What could you do if you weren’t paying $300 or more a month to the car or that credit card? Meet us in the comments!

JC Reagan

JC is a writer over at God, My Weird Spouse, and I, where he writes about life, marriage, and God’s place in all of it. He believes that being weird is a good thing in this world of mediocrity. He and his wife want to stick out for strong marriages and the priority of God, as well as a Biblical worldview.

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All of us should have, by now, realized the dire situation of the world in which we live.  People who cannot get enough food, or clean water to survive, and millions, without a single blanket to keep them warm, a pair of shoes to protect their feet, or a roof over their heads to ward off the weather. Here are some reasons charity should be on your budget, and some ideas on where you can donate.

1. Starvation

The numbers of people who are starving total one-third of the population.  In a world that just reached a population of 7 billion, that’s millions.  And these are just the numbers of people who are slated to die, or have died because they could not get enough to eat.

2. Homelessness

The statistics of people who are homeless are astronomical.  It is believed that over 1 billion people do not have suitable housing, and that around 500 million or more, are without any home whatsoever.

3. United Nations Shame

The U.N. – in a blaring headline: Millions of Starving Shame the World, U.N. Says.  The U.N has stated that they are simply ashamed at the hunger and famine widespread in Africa and Asia that the international community is in violation of the universal human right of food, as a basic right to all who live on our planet.

In the article:  ”Despite promises to eradicate hunger, there has been little progress in reducing the global number of victims of hunger,” said Jean Ziegler, the U.N. special rapporteur on the right to food.

“It is a shame on humanity that in a world that is richer than ever before, six million children die of malnutrition and related illnesses before they reach the age of five,” Ziegler said.

4. Basic necessities

This is not what life should be about for anyone, on a planet that is driven by compassion and love, not to mention wealth.

There isn’t a balance in our world when not every single human being is receiving the basic necessities of food, clean water, warm clothing, and a decent place to lay their head.

When I think about Athletes and Movie Stars receiving millions of dollars for their performances, it sickens me.  Some of those millions could be keeping others from starving to death, and at least provide some sort of housing. But we pay to watch them, cheer them on, and fall in love with them on the ‘big screen’.

5. Biblical reference

The Bible says in Deuteronomy 15:11: For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘you shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’

6. Abundance

Those of us who live a life of abundance, in any form, such as having plenty to eat, nice clothing to wear, a nice car or beautiful home should consider themselves very lucky indeed.  You probably worked hard for everything you have – and are entitled to a good life.

But why not share some of that abundance with those who don’t even understand what the word abundance means?

How You Can Help

There are thousands of ways to help, and being a Christian means that you have a special relationship with God – and the inborn desire to help others.

• Christian Charities / USA
• Christian Charity for Children in Need
• Ministry Watch
• International Orthodox Christian Charities
• World Vision
• Feed the Children
• The Hunger Site

These sites, among many hundreds of others – wish to ease the pain of starvation, homelessness and poverty.

Why don’t we all forgo the iPod or new car this year, in an effort to help some of these people who don’t even know what a car or iPod is, much less a healthy meal.  Imagine how much they would appreciate someone to care.

As a nation under God, we must fight this injustice together, and bring attention to this dark corner of our world.

If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. – Isaiah 58:10

This guest post was written by Andrianes Pinantoan, a personal finance enthusiast hailing from personal finance sites that provide tips on how to save money and provides budgeting spreadsheets.

Guest

Is it wrong to feel joy and laugh while watching people get smashed by giant arms, hit with large objects, sprayed with gooey sauces, or thrown through the air? If you answered YES … then I confess … I’m guilty!

One of my family’s favorite TV guilty pleasures is a hit show called WIPEOUT! The show pits average everyday people (definitely not athletes) against one another in a competition for $50,000. To win, you must have the fastest time through a variety of obstacle courses. So what’s the big deal? What makes these courses so challenging? It’s the seemingly endless variety of cleverly hidden traps that will slap, hit, smash, throw, and beat the contestants into exhausted lumps of human flesh.

Surviving A Financial Wipeout

The funniest wipeouts are from the contestants who never pause. Nope, they just run as fast and as hard as they can without ever taking a second to analyze the challenge in front of them. Of course, there’s the flip side of this. There are some people who want to over analyze the course. For these overly cautious few, the show created the whammy bar! That’s right, if you don’t want to move forward then will smash you forward.

Financial wipeouts can really hurt! Heck, given the choice I would choose to participate in the TV show. At least there I have a chance to win and my greatest pain will only be my bruised ego. But when you get hit financially by an unforeseen “whammy bar” it can knock the breath out of you. Moreover, it may cause pains that last for a really long time.

Lessons To Learn From Wipeout Winners

So how can we possibly win when dealing with things we can’t see or even begin imagine? Let’s take some tips from successful WIPEOUT winners.

1. Prepare For The Unexpected

All contestants prior to running the obstacle course must put on a helmet and pads. When dealing with our finances we should do the same. Call it your WIPEOUT money! When the AC goes BANG, your car goes SMASH, or your plumbing makes a SPLASH you’ll be able to take the hit and keep moving forward. Make your own decision on how much money you should keep for this, but I typically recommend at least $1,000.  If your income is below $25,000 annually then I recommend $500.

Editor’s Note: Learn more about emergency funds from Dave Ramsey.

2. Look Before You Leap

Successful contestants quickly assess the obstacles before them, make a decision, and move on it. Before you spend or invest your money you should do the same. Make sure YOU understand anything you spend your money on. Don’t get caught up in the hype of anyone or anything.

3. Don’t Stand In One Place Too Long

Sitting in one spot for too long is a guaranteed way to get hit from behind. Think about the people who check their rearview mirrors, see no one, and stop their cars in the middle of the road. While they may be safe for a moment or two, if they sit there long enough their guaranteed to get SMASHED! The same holds true for those deciding their next financial move. While I strongly recommend studying, don’t let analysis become you’re paralysis! Perfect conditions rarely exist in the financial world. You need to keep moving forward.

The Real Man View

Nobody likes getting the snot knocked out of them. I’m no exception. As a Real Man with Money I do my best to prepare myself and my family for the things I can’t predict.

The best WIPEOUT players are the ones who get knocked down and come up with a smile! Usually these people are little more physically fit and ready for the challenge. They knew coming in to the game they were going to take some hard knocks, but they had the good sense to plan before they played. If you want to come out of a financial wipeout smiling then start preparing now.

What’s your financial preparation plan? How have you handled a financial wipeout? Are your finances physically fit and ready for the challenge?

Photo by Eliya

Chuck Detwiler

Chuck formed RealManMoney.com in 2010 to give Real Men a place to talk about money and finances. Like many other people, he's made plenty of financial mistakes, but has also enjoyed financial success. Chuck started writing as a way to document his own personal journey to Financial Manhood. With his supportive wife JoAnna on board they tackled the financial monsters of debt, budgeting, and spending. Somewhere along the way his efforts turned into something more . . . a passion for personal finance and a desire to help others. You can visit Chuck at RealManMoney.com or find him on Facebook.

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Over the years, I’ve discovered my nieces and nephews consider me to be the best of all their Aunts and Uncles within our family. That’s right; among the dozens of other Aunts and Uncles … I’m the favorite! How can I make such as statement? How can I be so sure? Easy, every year when they go back to school they tell me so! I hear time and time again … Uncle Chuck you’re my favorite! … Don’t let a little fact like they’re selling something for a school fundraiser get in the way of the purity and truth they have spoken. After all, their love and admiration is a true reward … for only $10.99!!

Back to School

For those of you who have school age children within your family you know the pressure you can feel to buy something from a little niece or nephew who has big puppy dog eyes or a purr as sweet as a kitten. You may not even have young children in your family, but you have a close friend in the office who always shows you little Johnny’s pictures. However, unfortunately for you … you may have unknowingly gushed one too many times and are now considered prime fundraiser grounds! Or perhaps you simply picked the wrong place to live. You know, one of those family friendly desirable neighborhoods we all love.

Of course, all the kids will regale you with stories of how they want to win the cheap sparkly thing their teacher is giving away or having their name written on the board. The parents see the fundraising sales as harmless and the mega guilt trip as cute. After all, it’s “only a few bucks” … right!

Through a Parent’s Eyes

When my own kids started approaching school age I can honestly say the thought of pay back crossed my mind a few times. “They had their turn … Now it’s MINE! Let’s go get’em kids …CHARGE! (Or for those using Dave Ramsey methods … CASH!)”

However, now as a new school year begins to unfold and my oldest begins her journey into kindergarten, I’ve become keenly aware of something. Parents always want the best for both their children and the schools they attend. As a parent, I recognize the sincere desire to provide a great academic environment for our kids.  All parents I believe feel this.  We want the best teachers, classrooms, computers, athletic facilities, and curriculum. Unfortunately sometimes yearly school budgets don’t allow for this.

I’m sure we could all argue about a school district’s poor budgeting skills, mismanagement of resources, or overpaid employees. Yes, there is good and bad with every school system. So what’s a parent to do? What’s the family member to do? What’s the friend or neighbor to do when they’re being hit up for these purchases?

Suggestions to Overcome Puppy Dog Eyes: School Fundraising Ideas

1. Stick to the budget.

Always be honest with your budgeting! Remember a budget is not a tool to constrain you. A budget is a way of giving every dollar a purpose. If you want to give or donate something to various schools then plan for it in your budget.

2. Pick the least expensive item.

This is not a shopping trip and you’re not picking up a great sale item. Many times all the items being sold for a fundraiser have a standard profit margin. So buying the most expensive thing doesn’t necessarily mean you’re giving more to the school.

3. Know what you’re giving to.

This is a particular pet peeve of mine. I always make the parents (or kids if they’re old enough) explain what the fundraiser is for. While I love my family and want to support our local schools I also want to know what I’m giving my money too. And this is giving! I can always buy a tub of cookie dough at the grocery store.

4. Offer a cash donation.

Many of the items offered for sale can cost over $10, and yet only raise $1 of revenue for the school. If you really don’t want any of the items being offered, then check with the parents or the school and see if you can give $5 directly to the fundraising effort. This would have the same effect as buying $50 worth of products!

A Real Man’s Takeaways

As a good provider and community member I want the best for the next generation. I believe there are very few people who would want to see any child or schools fail. However, if you can’t afford to buy an item say no. Preferably let parents of smaller children know ahead of time. This can save the child from a potential awkward moment. Remember both the parents and the children don’t know the ends and outs of your budget.

Finally, I want to emphasize that I love the kids in my family! I have enormous respect for their teachers and their schools. I’m blown away constantly by the job teachers do on a daily basis. I freely admit I give whenever I can, but I never give more than I can afford. Please feel free to do the same if you see a new little kindergarten student of mine ever coming your way … She has a purr as sweet as a kitten and a compliment to follow. Maybe you can be a favorite too!

How do you plan for school fundraisers? Do you feel schools are taking advantage of the children? Do you feel the pressure to sell the stuff yourself? Meet us in the comments!

Chuck Detwiler

Chuck formed RealManMoney.com in 2010 to give Real Men a place to talk about money and finances. Like many other people, he's made plenty of financial mistakes, but has also enjoyed financial success. Chuck started writing as a way to document his own personal journey to Financial Manhood. With his supportive wife JoAnna on board they tackled the financial monsters of debt, budgeting, and spending. Somewhere along the way his efforts turned into something more . . . a passion for personal finance and a desire to help others. You can visit Chuck at RealManMoney.com or find him on Facebook.

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Looking back on my own childhood I can still remember some of my all time favorite summer time activities. Swimming in the ocean (or any big mass of water), exploring the woods, riding my bike to a friend’s home, building a fort, or just goofing around in my backyard … any of which could make for an interesting and fun day. No matter what, it seemed there was always a great way to have free summer fun.

Now as a Real Man, all grown up, I sometimes have to remind myself that enjoyment isn’t discovered only through money. As children most of us had very little money or none at all. But somehow we were always able to have fun and enjoy the long summer days. How did we manage to do this? … By being creative and getting off our collective butts! Perhaps it’s time for us all to find our inner child again and dicover the true meaning of summer fun!

Fun and Money

Why do so many people think you can’t have fun unless you use loads of money? Why does having a good time require a $4,000.00 vacation or a trip to another city while staying in an expensive hotel? Have we all forgotten when the epitome of water fun was called a Slip-N-Slide?! Kids need very little to have fun in the water … just ask one! They’ll probably run around to the side of your house and grab a garden hose and immediately soak you down.

It’s funny, but I think the cost of fun seems to be related to peer-pressure. That’s right, the same thing we all battled as teens when we were in school. Is there a personal example in your own life which comes to mind? For myself, there’s a group of guys I know who go out every Thursday evening for “guy’s night out.” Each man probably blows about $50 every week on this little outing. The gathering is done in the name of blowing off steam … or because of  the “We deserve it” mentality. In other words … they’re just trying to have some fun. Sometimes it’s hard to tell these guys no to going out. Why? … Because their my freinds and who wouldn’t want to spend an evening yucking it up with some buddies. But blowing $200.00 a month, on four nights of drinking, just isn’t in the budget. Sure I could kid myself into going out and only ordering water, but part of being responsible is not allowing ourselves to become tempted and then spend foolishly.

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. - Matthew 26:41 (NIV)

Activity Breed Fun

When I was in the military I learned early in my career how to have fun with very little money. Why do this? Simple … when you start in the military you don’t have money to blow. Consequently, some of my greatest joys were things which didn’t cost anything. However, having fun seemed to always involve doing something. Taking a nap in the barracks was never considered having a blast. Watching TV never really seemed to be a highlight of the day or night.

There’s something unique about being in the military. When you’re hanging out with your friends it was called building camaraderie or unit cohesion. But as a 19 year old Military Man I knew it as something else … FUN! Some of my best military memories were playing softball in the evening after a long shift. We would grab some drinks and snacks and play around for hours. I don’t think anyone ever kept score. It was more about cheering or jeering the person on base or getting ready to hit the ball.

As a civilian I found it harder to find this same sense of community and fellowship until I started getting involved with other people and organizations. It’s hard to make friends by simply sitting on the couch. It’s also hard to have an enjoyable time while zoned into a TV. Don’t get me wrong … I enjoy watching a good show, but I don’t let it become the schedule for the day.

Keep in mind, it’s all right to make summer plans that cost money, but don’t give up your financial sanity in the process. A good time shouldn’t make you feel sick when you get back home.

Fun Activities For YOU!

Mark a date on your calendar to go out and do something with friends or family. Here are a few suggestions to get you in gear.

• Bike ride through the neighborhood.
• Picnic at the park with the kids. Believe it or not kids still like swing sets and monkey bars.
• Spend the day at a beach, lake, or river. Pack your own lunch and drinks.
• Go to the Zoo! Most zoos allow you to bring in your own food and drinks, but there may be restrictions on the type of containers for animal safety.
• Take in a local car or motorcycle show. These range from Hot Rods to Antiques … Choppers to classic rides.

What are some of your SUMMER FUN suggestions? Remember you’re the ultimate answer to your summer fun challenges. Trust me on this … You’ll see what a difference spending time in an activity you enjoy can make in your life. One last thought … Don’t be afraid to try a new activity. You may just discover a world of SUMMER FUN you’ve been missing! Meet us in the comments!

Photo by Clarkston SCAMP

Chuck Detwiler

Chuck formed RealManMoney.com in 2010 to give Real Men a place to talk about money and finances. Like many other people, he's made plenty of financial mistakes, but has also enjoyed financial success. Chuck started writing as a way to document his own personal journey to Financial Manhood. With his supportive wife JoAnna on board they tackled the financial monsters of debt, budgeting, and spending. Somewhere along the way his efforts turned into something more . . . a passion for personal finance and a desire to help others. You can visit Chuck at RealManMoney.com or find him on Facebook.

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