I have had a very rough past year. I expected things to get better relatively soon after a layoff in January 2011, but instead, it seemed things got progressively worse. It’s triggered depression and has had me uneasy for a while.
When friends and family keep telling me to pray and give my problems to God, I know they mean well, but after constant disappointment, struggle, and frustration, I find it harder and harder to believe that things will get better just from praying and giving my problems to God. If that’s what I’ve been doing this whole time and nothing has changed for the better, how is it going to change if I do it today?
What I’m experiencing is a decrease in faith. I believe we’ve all experienced it at one point, even some of the prophets in the Bible. We’re not supposed to question God but there are times when we are so curious or feel so helpless, we ask Him why. Truthfully, it’s not up to us, and God doesn’t work on our time; He doesn’t have a watch.
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13
I used to halfway joke that I thought God had me on mute. I felt like I was praying, praying, praying, and God didn’t hear me because he muted me a while back and forgot about it. I felt that way because it seemed as if my prayers would go unanswered.
I’m not the first person to feel that way, and I certainly won’t be the last.
In the Bible, Habakkuk felt the same way; he prayed to God about the violence going on in the Jewish society, and felt like God didn’t hear his prayers because the problem continued.
What I’m learning is that God is indeed listening, every time we pray. However, He also knows what’s best for us and the exact time we need Him. God isn’t going to bless me with something I don’t need, even if I ask for it. Maybe I’ve been asking for the wrong things. He’s not going to keep me suffering; He knows when the time is right. I have to trust that He knows what He’s doing. My faith has to increase, even in the darkest hour.
I’ve never wanted to pray to God to make me rich or anything shallow. I’ve never prayed for material blessings, as that’s not what He’s for. However, I have changed my prayers a little more. I ask for a peace of mind, to bring myself and my loved ones through the day safely, and the Serenity Prayer (serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference).
It’s a work in progress. I’m a work in progress. Just like we work on strengthening our body’s muscles, I’m working on strengthening my faith muscle.
Have you ever been in Briana’s position? Do you struggle with faith sometimes? What helps? Leave a comment below.
! John wrote two articles for the book: "Budgeting for Groceries" and "How Grocery Stores Work."
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Briana, I think we’ve all gone through times in our lives where we felt like God wasn’t speaking to us, or that the very least he was being silent, often in the midst of our troubles. Even Mother Teresa had terrible bouts of depression, and at times wondered where God was in the midst of the suffering that she saw and experienced on a daily basis. Her letters showed that she struggled with it for years.
As Christians we’re all human, and of course are going to go through those times. I also don’t think it’s wrong to question God, our relationship with Christ is just that – a relationship, where it’s ok to engage with God and question Him. Often we just won’t understand his will or his timing. I think a good story to read to see how others have dealt with suffering and depression is the story of Job – a man who lost everything, yet still worshiped God – despite his questions.
My wife went through a similar situation back in 2008 where she had a massive blood clot and was in the hospital for over a month and now has to be on blood thinners for the rest of her life. While she was going through it she felt like she couldn’t sense God’s presence and felt like she was in a deep dark hole, while the rest of us could see God working in her life. Later on she was able to as well. God can use bad situations for His good later.
In any event, I’ll say a prayer for you! God bless.
I know how the writer feels. I think the best thing to do is to meditate on the Word, day and night. It offers a comfort like nothing else can!
Amen!
I’ve been through this tough ride as well, Briana. I had a health problem that remained undiagnosed for almost a year and was frustrated why I couldn’t just enjoy being a happy, healthy, newlywed. What I discovered was that God will take you to the bottom only to build you back up. He is the Ultimate Teacher. He makes us strong. And when He blesses us those blessings seems to come in multiples. So some encouragement? Keep praying and get excited for those blessings to roll your way
There are two times we forget that God hears all of our prayers – First when we feel lost and alone – Second when we find ourselves overcoming problems too easily.
I have been in both situations.
Listening to God, by reading His word and quieting my mind from all distractions is especially hard when I feel like my prayers have become empty words unheard by the very God who loves all of us.
However, I find that only by forcing myself to be quiet and simply know that Jesus is God relieves me enough to keep praying until He gives some form of answer.
I hope that helps someone who is going through this dark night of the soul.