When it comes to money, John and I are two entirely different people. I have never been a saver, and until we got married and I was forced to take part in the once-dreaded budgeting process, money wasn’t something I ever put much thought into.
It’s not that I didn’t make any money; I got my first job at 15 and worked nearly full-time throughout highschool, which turned into over full-time during college. While nearly all of my friends were living off their parents money and spending their time doing who-knows-what, I was starting my career paying for the gas in my car, the clothes in my closet, and anything else I wanted. But I worked HARD for that money, gosh darn it! Shouldn’t I be able to blow a month’s income on a Coach bag if I wanted to? I felt a sense of financial entitlement that many hard-working people feel. It’s not wrong, but if left unchecked, it can spell disaster.
When I met John and we started dating, he was Prince Charming in person. He had also worked several jobs during highschool and college, as well as dabbling in the stock market which proved to be extremely lucrative. John treated me like a princess and paid for everything we did together, so why should I start saving now? I continued to spend my money haphazardly, never even dreaming of setting financial goals or writing a budget.
We got engaged, got married, and bought our condo. Throughout that process, we learned a LOT and grew up awfully fast economically! At least one of us did . . . John’s financial lightbulb lit up almost overnight, and it was as though all the flowcharts and income/output graphs he had been puzzling over for years suddenly gave way to a financial breakthrough. He continued to discover new truths and exciting concepts, and with me halfheartedly agreeing to the plan, we wrote our first budget.
John will tell you that that first budgeting experience was like pulling teeth. I argued. I cried. I threw a tantrum and cried some more. I didn’t WANT to keep track of the money I spent, and I wasn’t even sure that I WANTED financial peace! This didn’t sound like any fun at all. The first few months were rough, and although I complied to the budget we agreed to, I wasn’t thrilled with it. It hurt! I couldn’t just pick up that cute new dress at Nordstrom and a pair of shoes to match whenever I had a bad day. I missed my Starbucks. But I was starting to feel like a baby. Gradually, I came to the realization that all of this was sort of silly. I had a beautiful home, a husband who loved me, and not just one but two jobs I truly adored. What exactly was I complaining about?
Once that blessed epiphany came and went, things got much easier for me and for my sweet husband! I started to look forward to our little budgeting meetings. I took comfort in knowing how much we planned on spending in each category that month. I was the one asking John when we could go over our transactions for the week! He nearly passed out the first time I begged him to allocate funds with me. Now over a year later, our financial situation and plan for the future is literally coming to life, and I feel such peace and joy. It seems insane to me that it was ever any different.
Over the past 14 months, I’ve learned so much about myself. I know that I can form sound financial habits, when before it seemed laughable. I know that some material things that once seemed so essential just aren’t important now. I have seen the value and fun in setting goals together, reaching those goals, and celebrating. During a conversation with my uncle several months ago about this topic, he said something that I will always remember. “If you can learn to be happy and one hundred percent content when you have nothing,” he said, “then when the money comes pouring in, it’s great. When it doesn’t, it’s great. You’re happy.” That contentment and satisfaction is the most important thing I’ve gained in this process. We have so much. And I’ve learned to truly love it.
! John wrote two articles for the book: "Budgeting for Groceries" and "How Grocery Stores Work."
